Resurrect an Old Joke Day!

As it's a resurrection I'm including some favourites from previous posts...

Mine (from the 50 funniest jokes website)

I went down the local supermarket, I said, ''I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it'', they said, "Those are pickled onions Sir'' 

Sophie's (a bit of classic Tommy Cooper)

"Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin."

Bernie's

Q. Why are all dumb blond jokes oneliners?
A. So men can understand them.

Webby's (obviously a firm favourite as it's the same one he suggested for this year!)

A horse walks in to a bar.......................(he didn't finish it so here's the ending for anyone not familiar with it - and the barman asks "Why the long face?")
 

This year's selection includes..

The offering from my New Year's Eve cracker

          Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a centipede?
          A. Bacon and legs

One of my favourites

         Q. What's pink and fluffy?
         A. Pink fluff

And I liked Jess's offering

         2 fish in a tank...one said to the other I hope you know how to drive this thing

How good is this though?!  I thought I'd do some research and I came across the world's oldest joke book which was resurrected by Jim Bowen (of Bullseye fame) in 2008!

The 1,500 year old book was translated from Greek by William Berg, an American professor of classics.  The 265 jokes (attributed to a pair of Greek jokers called Hierocles and Philagrius) have been published as an e-book and even contain an ancient version of the Monty Python’s famous dead parrot sketch.

If you'd like to see an example of 1,500 year old humour see below!