Late, Lost and Lying!

Outrageous excuse for being late day - I hate being late (although I'm often running 5-10 minutes late when meeting friends because I regularly underestimate how long it'll take me to walk somewhere - or I've had to stop for a choking fit, or two, on the way!). 

I hate being late and lost even more. These two combined turn me into an absolute wreck. Like the time I got myself lost in York and couldn't find the train station and spent almost 2 hours (missing my train in the process) wandering round before ending up, almost in tears, on a bench on the phone to Bernie to try and get directions. A bench within spitting distance (and sight) of the train station.

No, I'm not joking.

Anyway, thanks to another particularly disgusting chest infection and cold, I didn't go anywhere at all this week. The only appointment I had was with the sofa and it really didn't care what time I dragged my sorry behind downstairs.

Here are some excuse you may wish to consider for future reference though;

• I won't be in to work today on time. My brain is full.
• I super-glued my eye thinking it was contact solution.
• When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax tablets in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the toilet, but I feel really good about it.
• I won't be coming in to work today. My wife informed me that she is going to conceive today, and I really want to be there when it happens.
• I was abducted by aliens. After being transported to the mother ship, the aliens decided not to suck out my brains. They sent me back home.
• I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
• I saw a fire engine as I was coming to work and went home to make sure my house wasn’t on fire.
• The bartender wouldn't let me leave.
• I saw Elvis.
• I've used up all of my sick days so I'm calling in dead.
• Someone was following me, and I drove all around town trying to lose them.
• I was waiting for my deodorant to dry.
• I'm not late. I decided to change my hours to make them more convenient.
• I was trying to get my gun back from the police.
• I drove to the place I'd rather work at by mistake.
• I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn't find the spider, so I had to go inside and shower again.
• I have transient amnesia and couldn't remember my job.

Lie in sunbeams day - slight technical hitch with this one. It rained. All day.

However, Rosie and Jim (Jemima) have been making the most of this one during the sunny days we had last week, under the velux window in the spare room became the favourite spot in the whole place!